DVD commentary meme: the creed of the seamstress
"Days on the imperial strategy ship begin for Rose with the sudden appearance of floodlights, illuminating every corner of her room." to "(The empire has one reliable seer, precisely.)" from The Creed of the Seamstress. sorry, the character limit in asks won’t let me put the whole passage!
the creed of the seamstress, if it wasn’t too long ago/you aren’t too out of the homestuck fandom! also I am sorry you are having a rough week, you are excellent and I hope it gets better

the creed of the seamstress is the first fic I set out to really write.  I’d signed up for ladystuck because it seemed like the thing to do.  I was hoping I could skate through it and maybe make something half-decent but then I got byzantienne as a recipient and panicked.  She’s so cool, I thought!  How do I even start!  (Darkfic.  Darkfic is always how I start.)

Here’s the prompt:

So what if Rose was a sort of Helmsman? (She sees appropriate actions. What could a war machine of an empire, and a scheming ancient empress, possibly desire more?) Take it AU any way that pleases you; any rating is fine; go as dark as you like. What interests me about this idea is the commonality of the horrorterrors, and the ways in which the Condesce might make use of Light powers.

I took this prompt and a prompt that asked for Rose/Terezi and decided (in my folly) that I could mash them together to do seer-vs-seer intrigue and hard xeno in an ambitious new way!  I think I’ve grown out of the fic on a line-by-line level; some of the sentence construction is a bit painful to read at this point.  That’s what two years of writing a lot will do for you!  If I re-wrote this fic now it would be ten thousand words longer and there would probably be fewer commas.  I do still like the spy shit and the science and the plot mechanics!  It’s a nice twisty little story for sure.

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DVD commentary meme: lord lord mother; lord listen lover
anything from when Terezi gets back to the end in “lord lord mother; lord listen lover”?

lord lord mother; lord listen lover came from a bunch of places.  I was happy as a pig in mud to write more darkfic, so I was pretty psyched for Ladystuck Blind.  I started by deciding resolutely to not cop out and write something about Rose, Vriska or Terezi.  (I succeeded maybe 80% in this mission.)  Then I came up with the stories I wanted everyone to tell — Kanaya’s first, then Aradia’s, then Nepeta’s game.  Turned out what I really wanted was to make people sad about the mundane horror long-term bad situations — even when everything is truly awful someone has to get groceries, someone has to entertain everyone else, someone’s going to have a petty squabble that needs to be resolved.  Finally I darted off and asked a friend if I could borrow one of her local settings (the kitchen where you wait for a dead comrade to return) and ran with it.

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DVD commentary meme!

I have been having the world’s shittiest week (I will elaborate when the situation resolves itself so that I can relay a satisfying narrative) and want to have something indulgent to do when I get home tonight, so if you’d like to send me a passage from one of my fics and I’ll do a bit of DVD commentary!

AO3 here.

Askbox here.

Any snippets I’ve ever posted on this blog are also fair game!  The only things I can’t promise I’ll be able to comment on are the things that I collab’d on — mostly I illustrated those ones.


that girl is a goddamn problem

& on good days she is charming as fuck


melaniehoping said: songs for howl, please! or howl/sophie. either way!!

1 - eros and apollo - studio killers

Soon, he will eat your hearts like cereals
Sweet lolitas, don’t go
You’re still young

2 - 70 million - hold your horses

And it hardly looked like a novel at all, 
I hardly look like a hero at all

3 - i’m sticking with you - the velvet underground

I’m sticking with you
'Cos I'm made out of glue
Anything that you might do
I’m gonna do too

4 - go places - the new pornographers

Yes a heart will always go one step too far 
Come the morning and the four corners I see 
What the moral of the back story could be 
Come with me, go places 

5 - primadonna - marina and the diamonds

You say that I’m kinda difficult
But it’s always someone else’s fault

fleshoptional said: the master?

1 - matches to paper dolls - dessa

And you flash some fang
And I bat my lashes
And we’re back again
No end to this game with matches

2 - power & control - marina and the diamonds

Power and control,
I’m gonna make you fall.

3 - kiss with a fist - florence and the machine

You smashed a plate over my head
Then I set fire to our bed

4 - polite dance song - the bird and the bee

Give it up for me please, put your hands in the air
If you know what’s good for you, you wanna shake it like you just don’t care

5 - soldier in a box - hot hot heat

Soldier in a box… he’s mighty lonely
Soldier in a box… he’s nothing special 

(psyche it’s a doctor/master playlist)


is there an ask meme thats like “send me a ship/character/au and ill make a 5 song playlist for them” if not im making one


Anonymous said: I think to better help destroy the idea of an innate gender and sex binary, it would be helpful to call sperm producers and ovum producer exactly this (or big gamete / small gamete or whatever); instead of "male" and "female"...

in my mind, male and female as vocabulary words present two problems:

  1. they describe both sex and gender and that is hella confusing, and also makes it tempting to conflate the two
  2. there are only two of them and this does not reflect the natural world of sexes very well

i think using different words like you’ve proposed may help problem 1.  however, i don’t think your solution fixes problem 2, which i believe encompasses the innate binary issue that’s the main thrust of your ask.  replacing the two words we have that mean “has smaller sex cells” and “has larger sex cells” with two different words that mean the exact same thing does basically nothing on that front.

i’d really rather not up the syllable-count in already-dense and inaccessible scientific writing, and i’m just not sold hard enough on sperm producers and ovum producers as helpful terms to sacrifice any more clarity.

[a lot more under the cut]

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Can Voldemort secretly be Collier Strong?

ahahaha, yes, also a fair placement :D

Anonymous said: Does this make Voldemort Tim Gunn or Heidi Klum?


voldemort is like, the corporate executive who decides how much product placement goes into the show. he’s been working on his dastardly scheme to gradually increase it until 50% of all episodes is just lingering camera shots of brand names and logos artfully placed in the workroom


I want to note that the way the sex binary looks like it’s present throughout the animal world is that white scientists have a terrible habit of labeling everything “male” or “female” even when it makes no sense.

Like, by any reasonable metric, bees have three sexes: drone, queen, and worker. Workers are only labelled female because someone couldn’t abide the idea of something not being either one or the other.

And before someone calls “genetics” there are many species where both sexes have the exact same genetics, and even many where individuals can change reproductive capacity at will, and scientists suddenly have no problem calling the ones who grow eggs “female” even though they were “male” two weeks ago.

Some species of mammals reproduce asexually. They have only one sex. It is still called “female” because it makes babies even though one might reasonably ask why even make the distinction when every single individual makes babies just the same.



scientists have a lot of issues with sex and gender!  like that honey bee thing: not spot on.  scientists are really really bad about applying human binaries on natural systems in fact and it fucks up the path to discovery, in addition to being shitty and sexist and binarist!  i am angry about it a lot.

but i just wanna add some info on how scientists talk about sex from someone on the front lines who studies reproductive bio in an animal system 

the convention among the english-speaking scientific community i am familiar with is this: if the animal has got large, long-lived, non-motile sex cells (generally eggs) it’s called a female.  If it’s got small, short-lived, motile sex cells (generally sperms) it’s called male.  If it has both sorts it’s kinda complicated but generally not called male or female.

for example, one of the little tiny worms we like to study comes in two types: ones that make eggs and sperms, and ones that only make sperms.  scientists happily call the first type hermaphrodites and the second type males.

we could do like yeast biologists and call the different mating types a and alpha, but because of tradition we just don’t.  anyway, that’s why we label things “male” and “female” and what the reasoning is behind it.

sloanfuckingsabbith said: oh my god the west wing project runway au would be the most amazing thing ever.

me wanting a west wing project runway au is what started it

it would be so glorious


megaparsecs replied to your post: you: hey isozyme, what do you want mos…

(ok im gonna feel like such a dbag for this but there’s a typo in the hermione one. also this is fantastic. also im v sorry for being that douche. also i love it. i hope dumbledore isnt tim gunn that would be disastrous )

aaaah, thanks, fixed!  (noo don’t feel bad i would never have caught it myself)

dumbledore is NOT tim gunn, tim gunn is irreplaceable. dumbledore can be a celebrity guest judge who doesn’t know shit

you: hey isozyme, what do you want most in this world?

me: project runway AUs in every fandom